Corrupt a Wish

This is a posting game I see in some forums, so I might as well havw it here

Rules:

Post a wish and corrupt the wish above you. Keep it pg13 and be creative. All forum rules apply.

Example:

Person A) I wish for ponies!

Person B) Granted, but they are actually horses.
I wish for cookies.

Person A) Granted, but they have no sugar.
I wish for....

And so on. I'll start.

I wish I could fly!

Granted, but only for 10 seconds
I wish I had heat vision

Granted, but you lose your eyes.
I wish for a butler

Granted, but he is 100 years old.
I wish for better grades.

Granted, but only during the summer.
I wish for a potato

Granted, but I mistook it for tomatoes.
I wish I can lick Duelist 's face. HUEHUE

Granted, but you have no tongue.
I wish for life to be like anime.

Granted, but it's based off Clannad ;D
I wish I had a tongue ;-;

Granted, but your tongue is in flames.
I wish for a ninja

Granted, But hes clumsy.
I wish for a high powered sniper rifle capable of taking down a single target off the face of the earth from any distance.

Granted, but you can only have it for 1 second.
I wish for a talking bakugan ( don't blame me on this one )

Granted, but i shot you with my sniper rifle.
I wish for more swag.

Granted, but only for a day
I wish for a #1 boss mug

Granted, But all your co-workers drew penises on it.
I wish for 2 cookies.

Granted, but you lose your tongue
I wish for a white katana

Granted, but it turns into a butter knife.
I wish for butter ;D

Granted, but you get it for 1 week only
I wish to be an admin on DN

Granted, but it's april fools day.
I wish Admins can kick themselves ;D

Granted, but only for a day
I wish I could walk on water

Granted, but you broke your ankle o3o
I wish I had a sandwhich.

Granted, but there's no meat in the sandwich
I wish for a girlfriend ;_;

Granted, but only for an hour
I wish for a pony! ( this one was just random )